It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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