he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
