We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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