I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
