he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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