I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
