I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
