i wish my penis had a tongue
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
