1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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