real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
