butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
did you just send me my own nude
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
