Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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