he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
