Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You took a bar mat shot.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
