dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
