he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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