we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
