If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Dicks are not precious.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
