Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
