glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
