i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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