Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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