I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
