my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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