Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
