Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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