yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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