hotel room ftw
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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