You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
