Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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