This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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