Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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