so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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