i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm like, not good at living.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
