How'd it feel making her break her religion?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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