dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
