He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
