Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
