it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
