You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
