You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
