C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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