Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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