Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
