I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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