I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
