Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
