So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
