He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
