I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
