I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
BRING THE BAGELS
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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