You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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