I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Actions speak louder than pants.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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