what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
