He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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