Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
