somebody snuck up and got me drunk
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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