i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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