if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
