I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
