I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
