she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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